The Unethical Foundations of Government

libertarian porcupine

Porcupine: A defensive animal that doesn't harm anyone who leaves it alone.

A humorous, or not-so-humorous look at the Ethics of Governmental Systems

Ethical propositions:

  • Theft is evil.
  • Murder is evil.
  • The initiation of violence is evil.

Tribalism:

Under special sets of weird and often incoherent Circumstances, such as Religious Prescriptions, or on Holidays, or upon specific Birthdays, almost anyone might be exempted from ethics.

Theocracy:

The will of God as directed by His most Holy Books, and interpreted by His Ordained Agents on Earth shall be exempted from ethics.

Monarchy:

The will of the King and his Lords, as handed down through Inheritance, and backed by Divine Right, shall be exempted from ethics.

Fascism:

The will of [pick one: The Leader, The People, The Holy Book, The Flying Spaghetti Monster] shall pose as the entity in control, when it is actually Corporate Power and International Bankers pulling the strings and who are exempted from ethics via Legislative Creativity.

Despotism / Junta:

I have a really big gun, so I’m exempted from ethics.  You have a problem with that, motherfucker!?

Totalitarianism:

Ethics!  Ethics?  We don’t got to show you no steenking ethics.

Communism:

The will of the Proletariat shall be exempted from ethics.

Socialism:

The will of the Central Planning Committee as informed by the Best Minds of Society, who are chosen by the Central Planning Committee, shall be exempted from ethics.

Social Democracy:

The will of the 23 Bureaus of Public Affairs as directed by The People by Popular Vote after due consideration of The Evidence as presented by The Media shall be exempted from ethics.

Republic:

The will of The People, as directed by a combination of Popular Referendum and Legislative Action, and checked by the powers of Judicial Oversight for accordance with the Constitution, shall be exempted from ethics.

Collectivist Anarchism:

The will of the Collective shall be exempted from ethics.

Communist Anarchism / Anarcho-Syndicalism:

The will of your Self-Governing Entity as decided by Popular Vote shall be exempted from ethics, but only within your Self-Governing Entity, unless your Self-Governing Entity requires resources from another Self-Governing Entity, in which case your Self-Governing Entity may also exempt itself from ethics in transactions with other Self-Governing Entity, but not their individual members.

Voluntaryism  / Agorism / Libertarianism / Market Anarchism / Anarcho-Capitalism:

Only those persons or entities who are presently being ethically violated shall be exempted from ethics, and only to defend themselves against said violation.

Anarcho-Pacifism:

No person or entity shall ever be exempted from ethics.

Egoist Anarchism / Egoism / Chaos:

Fuck ethics, I’ll do whatever I can get away with.

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2 Responses to “The Unethical Foundations of Government”

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  1. naiya says:

    this is pure awesome.

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